I don't know which way i'm going, I don't know what I've become.

I suck at writing in this, but i also have a livejournal and a tumblr sooo i keep up with those more..

It's been a very odd couple of days, i can't really wrap my head around it.

My mind is all over the place.

My photo project sucks, i need new ideas. ugh.

I sort of stopped caring about school this week, but i'll get back into it.. only a few more weeks.

will you make a plan to love me sometime soon?

I've been feeling more confidant with myself lately, which is really really nice. It's rare that, that happens.  I just try to tell myself not to give a fuck what everyone thinks, because if they don't like how I am, then they aren't worth it.

Feeling kinda disappointed today. I put too much faith in certain people, and they just let me down. I've been pushing my negative feelings into the back of my mind, but the fact that they keep resurfacing makes me wonder. 

basically, boys are dumb. 

But I get to go home tonight for a much needed break from this cold city. I need warm weather and color.

mentally gone

I'm not listening in digital imaging.
I'm falling asleep or looking at pictures on flickr.com

blehh

my peeeeeeekturrrrres? yes.

:)

But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy.

With these things there's no telling 
We'll just have to wait and see

your kind's my kind, I'll stay the same

I'm trying to figure out what to do for my photography project. We have to take pictures that have to do with what inspires us, or what kind of photography we are interested in taking. It's hard for me personally because everything that I want to take pictures of, isn't in Portland. Also, it's damn cold outside. Doesn't leave many options. I want it to be good, because photo is really the only class i care about here. Idk. I get inspired but then it gets shot down. fuuuuuckkkk.

I'm alright, it's just tonight, I can't play the part

I don't want to be here.

I want to be out there, exploring. 

I want to drive across the country. It's cliche but I don't care. 

I can feel my mind wandering again, into where I don't know, and will I ever get home?

Today was the second day of classes. I had art history, composition and literature, and photography 2. 

I'm really nervous, I want to do well. Especially in photography. We have a project assigned already for photo, I don't know what I'm going to do for it yet, but it's stressing me out, because I want it to be good.

Comp and Lit was funny, my teacher is... interesting. haha. We are reading a book about the philosophy of sex? or something. We talked a lot about love and philosophy

some interesting quotes from the class...

"Love is a terrible experience, no one wants to do it." - My teacher

"All the pain and all the pleasure creates an immense feeling of being alive."(talking about love) - one of my peers.

pretty interesting.

I keep all my fourtunes from my fortune cookies, i feel like i should start listening to them haha.

oh baby baby please, i feel an urgent need to apologize

so I started this blog because i have a lot of thoughts about stuff, and things that I think are interesting that i want to share with people. I have a LiveJournal, but i like to keep that sort of private. So I'll think of this as my public journal. 

I've been pretty lost lately, mostly with myself. 

I can't quite find what it is I'm looking to do with my life. I love photography, I just hope I can make a good career out of it.

Most of you know that I'm definitely not the most outgoing person in the world. My lack of confidence has a lot to do with it, and recently I've been feeling extremely down about myself, and I don't know why.

i just wish i was better at talking to people, i feel so awkward and never have anything good to say, or it just comes out weird and stupid, or i can't say what i mean, and if i get nervous my mind just goes blank.

Mostly, i just need to stop caring what people think, and be me, because if they don't like it, they aren't worth it.

easier said than done.